Transformers: Age of Extinction Review - Or Reason for Theaters to Install Bars
Updated on June 27, 2014, 7:12 PM - Written by Tim Buttner
Transformers: Age of Extinction might be the most ridiculous movie of the franchise. To even begin reviewing the story is a difficult task because the story is god awful. It's absolutely terrible and atrocious. Pure laziness in screenwriting and direction; to the degree that one has to question the studio for wasting so much money on the budget of this movie. At the same time this movie brings me to campaign for all movie theaters to add a bar to the premises. This movie would have been so much better had I been drinking.
I went in expecting the story to take a back seat to the mindless action. However, I wasn't prepared to have no idea what the story was even about more than thirty minutes into the movie. The previous movies had Optimus Prime giving voice-over explaining things at the beginning of the movie, and as annoying as it was and useless: it's greatly missed in this installment. That's how pathetic it gets when trying to figure out what the H is going on. Even more so I don't even know why I'm supposed to care for these new human characters. There's the smallest amount of development for these characters, and even they make transitions from one state to the next without provocation. Stanley Tucci's character is a perfect example of that sin.
Speaking of sins; I'm looking more forward to watching the Cinema Sins breakdown of this movie than watching the movie. I mean throughout the movie I was literally thinking about how absurd each situation was and how impossible what I was witnessing would be even for a Transformers movie. That's right, even for a Transformers movie this thing got way too ridiculous.
I must digress because this is turning into a rant. I could go on forever about how bad the story is and every possible instance of it being half-baked and preposterous. However, there's probably enough reviews doing this as it has a Rotten Tomatoes Score of 16% at the time of writing this review. What's more is the filmmakers don't even bother hiding the product placement. To the degree where it's absolutely pointless to even have made a feature length film that never seems to end when it's all a giant toy, car, etc. commercial.
So how does it score on the technical merits? Well, it's a high budget film so a large amount of the technical aspects are at the highest tier. However, there are plenty of issues. Some of which negatively effect the 3D. These are things that have to do with the camera, either the placement of the camera, flaws of the camera technology, or questionable settings that resulted in poorly produced images. So how would I overall rate the 3D before going into these specifics: bad, okay, and at times very good.
Why three? Because it isn't consistent. The bad is where there are shots that are absolutely atrocious and make the 3D hurt. There's shots where it was very obvious that there was noise. I mean shots that I don't know how they were approved to be in the final cut. One was an interior with a black car having obvious noise in the blacks. Another was an aerial shot that had absolutely atrocious noise despite it being a well lit day time exterior. That noise hurt the 3D. Next was the choices of framing, or even the decision to have some bright light shine right into the camera. One of these came early in the movie on the Yeager farm when there was some reflective object in the frame that just reflected an extremely bright light into the camera, and made it unbearable. Would you shine a bright light into the eyes of a person that you're trying to entertain? Well director Michael Bay would. Additionally there were times when the rolling shutter of the digital cameras became an obvious detriment to the stereo 3D image. This was most obvious when it was very shaky hand-held type of shots with fast kinetic cutting. On a big IMAX screen this was absolutely annoying.
So how about the okay and very good? Well a lot of the VFX sequences had some absolutely stunning stereo 3D. And then a lot of the rest of the movie had okay stereo. It overall felt wasted however, due to the subject matter. 3ality Rigs with the RED Epic Dragon and a new 3D IMAX Camera were wasted when paired with the atrocious story. Same with the top notch visual effects and sound editing/effects.
I can only in good consciousness suggest this movie as a see it once on the largest possible screen. However, until theaters put a bar into the theater it's sort of wasted. I paid $20+ for my ticket to see the movie on the biggest and best IMAX 3D screen in New York City, and for the most part I was downing coffee to keep awake. I fell asleep during the second installment, and for the money I had to spend on this one I wasn't going to allow that to happen. However, I would have preferred to be drunk. I'm campaigning for every major movie theater to install a bar so that in the future I can drink to my satisfaction during a movie like this to make it more bearable. However, this is probably the last installment of the franchise I will see in theaters. I can't withstand another of these relentless action and exlosion-athon movies again.
comments powered by Disqus